MYTH: Friends and family are the same as therapy

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 00:00:00 GMT

The Comfort of Talking to Loved Ones

When having a hard time, there is little else more comforting than sitting down with a close friend, partner, or family member, who you know cares about you. Being surrounded by people who already know your history and want the best for your well-being can feel deeply supportive. However, as generous as loved ones are with their time and care, they often lack the tact and skill needed to help us navigate difficult life challenges.

When Support Turns into a Burden

While the support of friends and family may feel validating, they can sometimes come in with strong opinions, emotional reactions, or even judgments.

How many times have you brought up an issue only to find yourself defending your choices or feeling burdened by someone else’s advice? Have you ever felt like you “should” be doing something different from what you actually want?

Or maybe you’ve wondered, “Are they tired of hearing me talk about this?” Whether it’s another breakup, career or financial struggles, or a frustrating household dynamic, there’s often a fear that loved ones might get exhausted from hearing the same stories, no matter how much they care.

The Give-and-Take of Relationships

Our relationships—whether romantic, family, or friendships—are crucial parts of our support system. However, they come with an inherent need for balance and reciprocity. If every conversation revolves around our problems, we can end up in situations where loved ones unintentionally signal that “enough is enough.” That’s not because they don’t care, but because relationships thrive on mutual give-and-take.

This is where therapy offers something uniquely different.

Therapy Offers More Than Just a Friendly Ear

In therapy, you don’t have to worry about how your words are landing or whether they will circle back to someone else in your life. It’s a confidential space where you can explore your thoughts at your own pace. The dedicated time is entirely for you, without any need to reciprocate or “care-take” others’ feelings.

Unlike with friends or family, there’s no need to tiptoe around sensitive issues. A skilled therapist provides non-judgmental support, helping you reflect on patterns, thoughts, and behaviors you may have missed. Where loved ones may either aggressively challenge your choices or passively support them, a therapist offers affirmation or constructive feedback solely for your growth, not for any personal gain or to keep peace in a relationship.

Therapy Is About Your Well-Being

In therapy, the agenda is simple: your well-being. You are free to explore, reflect, and work on learning and applying new skills with someone who is professionally equipped to guide you in a way that family and friends often cannot.

If you find yourself looking for a different kind of support, I’m here to help. Reach out to me today for a free consultation, and let’s create a space that is just for you.

The Season's Change: Embracing Transition

Sat, 21 Sep 2024 00:00:00 GMT

Stepping out of my door on a September morning, I’m immediately smacked in the face with the crisp air of fall. The hillsides might not be as colorful as I’m used to back on the east coast, but even here in Colorado, I find parts of myself remembering and reaching for autumn. My seasonal rituals are not separate from this change, as every fall I rediscover beloved-but-temporarily-forgotten recipes (hello again, pumpkin bread and butternut squash soup) or the box of sweaters that have been patiently waiting through summer’s heat to wrap me in thrifted warmth.

As the daylight of summer slowly slips away, I’m drawn to walk my neighborhood each day, searching for those first hints of yellow and orange in the leaves. At night, the full harvest moon feels closer and brighter than those of recent months - making me forget, momentarily, the shortening days. Even the raccoons growing fat for winter are a reminder of the season’s change (this is where you get to envision me trying to casually throw out my trash and instead being stared down by an entire racoon family).

Despite the excitement and nostalgia that fall brings, I can also notice the subtle ways my body and mind start to brace for the winter ahead. And it’s not just me; friends and neighbors have already started to mention a new exhaustion creeping in as the days grow shorter, nights colder. Originally from New England, I know how long and dark winter can be. My body remembers the utter chaos of what -25F feels like and let me tell you, it is getting ready to hunker down. It tells me the onset of fall feels like a time to prepare and I am learning to listen and respond to this request. Here are some small steps I’ve found helpful:

Tips for Finding Ease in the Seasonal Transition

Boost your Vitamin D: With your doctor’s approval, start taking a daily Vitamin D supplement to combat the reduced sunlight exposure and help maintain your energy levels as the days grow shorter. Many of us are already vitamin D deficient, so let’s kick it up a notch.
Establish a Morning Routine: Enjoy the cooling fall air by taking regular walks or trips outside in the morning (whether this is on foot, a bike, a wheelchair, or with your kid’s stroller). This will not only keep you connected to nature as it changes but also help regulate your circadian rhythm.
Create Cozy Nesting Spaces: Prepare your home for the colder months by adding touches of comfort—pull out a weighted blanket, decorate with some candles or holiday lights, and set up a humidifier to combat the dry winter air.
Balance Summer and Fall Foods: Embrace the last of the season’s harvest by making meals with summer’s ripe vegetables (what to do with all of that zucchini?!), while also shifting towards heartier dishes like stews and curries that can be frozen for winter. Even just finding some “fall” themed recipes you can get excited about making will help! Some of my favorites are on noracooks.com and cookieandkate.com
Incorporate Winter Activities into Your Calendar: Look ahead and add winter festivals, holiday gatherings, or fun outings to your calendar. On top of hosting, you can try searching Facebook Events or Googling city/local events near you as a jumping-off point. Having events to look forward to can bring a sense of joy and anticipation during the colder months, offering moments of connection and excitement.
Reconnect with Support Systems: As summer winds down, now is a good time to reconnect with therapy or other support systems that may have fallen off your schedule. Ensuring you have a solid support network will help you navigate the emotional challenges of the season, especially as we enter “the holidays”.
Prepare for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): If you, like me, have struggled with SAD, consider strategies that have helped you in the past. Whether it’s light therapy, planning social events, or having hobbies to look forward to, taking proactive steps can make winter feel more manageable.

If you find yourself struggling with the seasonal change, I’m here to help. Reach out to me today for a free consultation, and let’s create a plan together to move into winter with care.

Brilliant Sanity Blog | Monique Vincent, LPCC in Colorado